Men’s minds are as complex as a Rube Goldberg diagram. Women’s minds are Escher on acid. But I digress. Humans are curious by nature and we tend to fixate on unanswered thoughts. We wonder if our cars will start or are there 3 eggs and not 2 left in the fridge. We wonder if our breasts are big enough or if we can eke out another tasty serving of Alpo Essential for fido. Weird questions pop into our heads that seemingly come out of nowhere such as “How do you take an accurate picture of the White Album?” These thoughts pepper our daily processes and provide a demarcation for insanity. Let these thoughts consume you and you’ll wind up in a designer straitjacket. I wonder if my insurance policy covers that.
Some questions are best left unanswered.
What happened to James from High School? He collected cheerleaders and more ‘Most Likely to’ awards than anyone in school history. As it turns out, even though he was selected ‘Most Likely to Become Wealthy’ none of us had predicted ‘Most Likely to Commit Wire Fraud’. I also wondered what ever became of Little Lisa from way back in grade school. She was always quiet, pretty in her way and came from a devout Catholic family. They moved off to a mysterious state called Wyoming (have you ever met someone from Wyoming?) and the last I heard she was divorced with 4 kids and living the lesbian lifestyle in a double-wide on the outskirts of Walah Walah. And Carrie Anne Moss? She went from über hot Matrix babe to Mrs. Doubtfire completely bypassing the MILF years. What happened to my beloved Trinity?
I wonder how a sitting President of the United States can’t locate his birth certificate when he has the FBI in his employ. With a MasterCard and a phone I can get a certified copy of mine from county records. I’m not sure whose incompetence I’m more concerned with ~ our President’s or the FBI. I wonder why is it politically correct to say “I hope I’m right” instead of “I hope you’re wrong”? How must it have felt to be sitting in the Los Angeles City Council chambers hearing the response from Arizona read aloud regarding the boycott and thinking “am I the moron that forgot to mention this minor detail?”
You’d think Tiger Woods gets up every morning and assaults himself with a Calloway while screaming “I’m married to a hot blonde Swedish nanny. And she’s a twin!” You wonder how BP Tony sleeps at night or why he doesn’t have his yacht and crew enrolled in the Vessels of Opportunity program. You wonder how Sarah Palin even gets up while simultaneously craving a bowl of Fruit Loops. How can one man stand on a celestial body and marvel the spectacle of Earth yet we can’t locate another in spite of the misguided efforts of a disturbed patriot?
Sometimes I wonder about the thoughts women have and get a headache.
Yes, I wonder about all those things that worry us so. To keep from crossing over that elusive line of demarcation I constantly need to remind myself of how fortunate a person I am. How lucky to have the ever present love of family in my life. Blessed with the little things like water so many of us take for granted. And Fathers Day is the day I wonder if I can ever be half the man my father is.
“If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?” ~