“Whale Wars” should of have been called “Lost”


I didn’t think it’d be fair to comment on this unless I’d seen an episode or two. I give these folks a lot of credit; they are dedicated, true to their worthy cause and likeable. They just don’t seem very smart.

These guys would be washed out like a greenhorn on the “Cornelia Marie” before it even left the dock. I just watched my first two episodes and their collective ineptitude is 2nd only to the Los Angeles city council. One guy tears up his hand, a woman smashes her pelvis in a dinghy (yes, that was difficult to write) and the captain, Paul Watson, was shot…..in the heart……by the Japanese.


Because the Japanese were retaliating for being attacked with rancid butter bombs. 

Look I don’t make this stuff up.

The butter bomb brigade seemed sincerely surprised the Japanese would react with their flash/bang grenades. Which leads me to ask “If you were caught by surprise, why was your captain wearing a bullet proof vest”? If the gunshot story is to be believed the vest saved his life.   

Somehow I think there is more here. There was no investigation when clearly there was a heated confrontation on the high seas? A man was shot? I can’t imagine this being waved off by the international sailing community with a casual “That’s what you deserve when you butter bomb a boat”. Seems much more likely the ‘bullet’ in question was shrapnel from the flash/bangs.

Good luck and best wishes to all those serving on the “Steve Irwin”. You’re gonna need it.

Whale Wars update. July 16, 2010
This isn’t reality TV, its surrealistic TV. It’s a lunatic asylum on the high seas.  

The scene: From his speedboat Ady Gil that has just been run over and cut in half (because they were running out of gas?) by the Japanese Butter Bomb recipients, the 747 ton whaler Yushin Maru No. 2, a crew member yells out to his rescue ship, 50 feet away and closing while launching a motorized dinghy and deploying the gangplank, and I quote:

“We’re sinking!” Anybody seen our anchor?

No shit.

More brilliant still was the most intelligent thing a crew member on the foredeck of the rescue vessel could muster:

“We’re coming”

That had to be reassuring. The Cornelia Marie and the Northwestern exchanged Jakes in a highly coreographed display of skilled boatsmanship on the Bering Sea. These guys are literally running over each other.   

“If you make an ass out of yourself, there will always be someone to ride you” ~ Bruce Lee

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and unleashed and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.